Adolescence is often described as a time of identity formation. But for some young people, the question is not only “Who am I?”, it is also “Where do I belong?”

For adolescents growing up in multicultural families (where parents come from different cultural backgrounds) this question is rarely answered in a single place. Research suggests that belonging is shaped across multiple relational contexts (family, school, peers, and the wider social world) rather than emerging from any one of them alone (Jain et al., 2025).

Sometimes, it may sound like an internal sentence that is difficult to fully articulate:
“I feel like I don’t completely fit anywhere… but I’m not sure where I’m supposed to fit either.”

Growing Up Between Cultures: Not Confusion, But Negotiation

It is often assumed that growing up between cultures leads to confusion. Yet research offers a more nuanced picture. Adolescents who are connected to more than one culture do not necessarily experience fragmentation. In fact, biculturalism is often associated with psychological flexibility and resilience (Schwartz et al., 2010). The critical factor is not the number of cultural influences, but how these influences are experienced internally.

When cultural identities are perceived as compatible, adolescents tend to show better psychological adjustment. When they are experienced as conflicting, internal tension and distress may increase (Benet-Martínez & Haritatos, 2005; Lou et al., 2011). In this sense, the challenge is not simply having two cultures, but finding a way for them to coexist within the self.

At times, this process can also bring strengths. Research suggests that individuals with mixed cultural backgrounds may develop greater cognitive flexibility and an enhanced ability to navigate different social environments (Gaither, 2015). Yet this flexibility can also come at a cost: requiring ongoing adaptation, monitoring, and adjustment across contexts. At times, this experience may not feel like richness, but like pressure:

“It depends on where I am… I’m not sure which version of me is the real one.”

The Family as a Cultural System: Two Stories, One Child

For adolescents in multicultural families, identity development does not occur in isolation. It unfolds within a relational system where each parent may carry a different cultural history, value system, and way of making meaning.

Family systems research highlights that cultural identity is shaped through ongoing interactions between family members, rather than being transmitted in a linear way (Meca et al., 2021). Children do not simply inherit culture; they actively engage with, interpret, and sometimes reconcile differing cultural messages within the family. These messages are often communicated not only through explicit teaching, but also through stories: how parents speak about their past, their values, and their sense of belonging (Killian, 2001).

In some families, these narratives may align and support one another. In others, they may subtly (or openly) conflict. Differences in parenting styles, expectations around autonomy, emotional expression, or family roles can reflect deeper cultural distinctions (Falicov, 2005). When these differences are experienced as contradictory or confusing, adolescents may struggle to form a coherent sense of identity. In some cases, this may be felt not as open conflict, but as a quieter uncertainty: 

“At home, things make sense one way. Outside, they make sense another way. I don’t know which one is actually mine.”. 

Conversely, when parents are able to integrate or respectfully hold these differences, adolescents are more likely to develop a more stable and flexible sense of self (Crippen & Brew, 2013). 

“Where Do I Fit?”: Belonging, Peer Relationships, and Invalidation

While the family is a central context, adolescents also negotiate belonging in the social world beyond it. Identity is not formed solely from within; it is also shaped by how one is seen, categorized, and responded to by others (Khanna, 2004). For adolescents from multicultural backgrounds, this can involve repeated experiences of being asked to define themselves in ways that feel incomplete or inaccurate.

Questions such as “Where are you really from?” or assumptions about identity can create a sense of being partially recognized, or not fully seen at all: “No matter what I say, it feels like the answer is never quite right.” Research on identity invalidation suggests that when individuals’ identities are questioned or dismissed, this is associated with increased depressive symptoms and lower well-being (Green et al., 2025).

At a relational level, a reduced sense of belonging can also affect how adolescents approach others. Studies indicate that when adolescents feel they do not belong, they may become less likely to initiate or sustain peer relationships (Froehlich et al., 2024). In some cases, adolescents may gravitate toward peers with similar cultural backgrounds as a way of finding recognition and safety (McMillan, 2019). This can be both protective and limiting; offering connection while potentially narrowing social worlds.

In contexts where cultural diversity is highly visible (such as in countries where internal and international mobility intersect) these experiences may become more pronounced.
For adolescents growing up in places like Turkey, where different cultural, linguistic, and social identities often coexist, questions of belonging can take on additional layers. Feeling “in between” may not only be related to family background, but also to navigating social expectations, language, and shifting senses of identity across different environments.

A Mentalizing Perspective: Holding Multiple Selves in Mind

From a mentalizing perspective, the core difficulty may not lie in having multiple cultural identities, but in the challenge of holding these identities in mind: both within oneself and within relationships. Mentalization refers to the capacity to understand oneself and others in terms of internal states; thoughts, feelings, intentions (Fonagy & Target, 1997, 2006). This capacity develops within relationships where one’s inner world is recognized, reflected, and made sense of by others.

For adolescents navigating multiple cultural contexts, this process can become more complex. Different parts of the self may emerge in different settings, and these parts may not always feel easily integrated. When relational environments (within the family or outside it) are unable to hold this complexity, adolescents may feel pressured to simplify themselves: to choose one identity over another, or to disconnect from parts of their experience. At the same time, adolescence itself is a period in which mentalizing capacities can become more fragile, particularly under emotional stress (Ensink et al., 2016).

In this light, the task is not simply to resolve identity, but to create relational spaces where multiple aspects of the self can be thought about, explored, and held together.

When Might Support Be Helpful?

Navigating multiple cultural worlds is not inherently problematic. Many adolescents develop rich, flexible, and resilient identities in this process. At the same time, support may become meaningful when experiences of belonging feel persistently strained: whether through ongoing family tensions, repeated experiences of being misunderstood, or a growing sense of withdrawal.

These difficulties do not always appear as clear problems. They may instead be felt as:

• a sense of not being fully understood in important relationships

• increasing distance from others, even when connection is desired

• difficulty putting inner experiences into words

• or a quiet uncertainty about where one belongs

In these moments, what often helps is not finding a single answer to identity, but having a space where different parts of the experience can be explored without needing to be simplified or resolved too quickly.

Therapeutic work grounded in a mentalizing approach aims to support this process, by creating a setting where thoughts, feelings, and relational experiences can be held in mind, reflected upon, and gradually made more coherent.

References

Benet-Martínez, V., & Haritatos, J. (2005). Bicultural identity integration (BII): Components and psychosocial antecedents. Journal of Personality, 73(4), 1015–1050. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-6494.2005.00337.x

Choi, Y., He, M., & Harachi, T. W. (2006). Intergenerational cultural dissonance, parent–child conflict, and bonding in immigrant families. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 35(4), 525–539. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-006-9025-z

Crippen, C., & Brew, L. (2013). Intercultural parenting and the transcultural family: A literature review. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 5(2), 107–122. https://doi.org/10.1111/jftr.12017

Falicov, C. J. (2005). Emotional transnationalism and family processes: Expansion of family therapy theory. Family Process, 44(4), 399–412. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.2005.00071.x

Fonagy, P., Gergely, G., Jurist, E. L., & Target, M. (2002). Affect regulation, mentalization, and the development of the self. Other Press.

Froehlich, L., Martiny, S. E., Deaux, K., & Mok, S. Y. (2024). Social identity threat and minority students’ academic and social outcomes: The role of belonging. Studies in Higher Education. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1080/03075079.2023.2281234

Gaither, S. E. (2015). Mixed race identity and social cognition. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 24(2), 114–119. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721414558110

Khanna, N. (2004). The role of reflected appraisals in racial identity: The case of multiracial Asians. Social Psychology Quarterly, 67(2), 115–131. https://doi.org/10.1177/019027250406700201

Killian, K. D. (2001). Reconstituting racial histories and identities: The narratives of interracial couples. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 27(1), 27–42. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2001.tb01138.x

Lou, E., Lalonde, R. N., & Wilson, J. (2011). Examining a multidimensional model of bicultural identity integration. Canadian Journal of Behavioural Science, 43(4), 249–257. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0024471

Mastrotheodoros, S., Berry, J. W., Motti-Stefanidi, F., & van de Vijver, F. J. R. (2021). Developmental interplay between ethnic, national, and personal identity in immigrant adolescents. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 50(5), 871–887. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-021-01404-1

McMillan, C. (2019). Tied together: Adolescent friendship networks, immigrant status, and health outcomes. Child Development, 90(3), 913–931. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12972

Schwartz, S. J., Unger, J. B., Zamboanga, B. L., & Szapocznik, J. (2010). Rethinking the concept of acculturation: Implications for theory and research. American Psychologist, 65(4), 237–251. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0019330

Slade, A. (2005). Parental reflective functioning: An introduction. Attachment & Human Development, 7(3), 269–281. https://doi.org/10.1080/14616730500245906

Telzer, E. H. (2010). Expanding the acculturation gap–distress model: An integrative review of research. Human Development, 53(6), 313–340. https://doi.org/10.1159/000322476

Ensink, K., Bégin, M., Normandin, L., & Fonagy, P. (2016). Maternal and child reflective functioning in the context of child sexual abuse: Pathways to depression and externalizing difficulties. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 7(1), 30611. https://doi.org/10.3402/ejpt.v7.30611